Relationship & Singleness,  Spirituality & Purpose

Redefining DESPERATE (Part 2)

Desperate comes from a Latin word “desperare” which means “despair”. I was so stunned when I saw the definition in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: According to it’s definition, desperate means: Having lost hope, giving no ground for hope, moved by despair or utter loss of hope, involving or employing extreme measures in an attempt to escape defeat or frustration, suffering extreme need or anxiety, involving extreme danger or possible disaster of extreme intensity.

Wow! Too much negative emotions in just one word. You can then begin to imagine what a desperate person would look, sound or act like. The system of this world is filled with a lot of things to trigger “this kind of desperation”. The headlines and the occurrences of the last days are enough to make anyone desperate or hopeless. In real life, desperate people are every where you go; in the boardroom, play ground, shopping mall, parks, streets, your home and even in the church pews. Sometimes it is easy to spot them out from the look in their eyes and their actions. Desperation starts from a heart posture before it becomes a body posture. It stems and stirs up from within before it finally spills out on the outside.

When we sing “I am desperate for you Lord!” what do we really mean? Are we saying we are hopeless for God? Certainly not! What we mean is that we need or love him passionately. It is important for us to always rest in the knowledge that in redemption, God has given us everything that pertains to life and Godliness (2 Peter 1:3) Therefore, we should approach the throne of grace boldly and not hopelessly. Hebrews 4:16 says “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need”. God does not want us as his children to be desperate as in the definition of this world. Christ died for us to give us life and hope therefore, we are to be full of hope. Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” we are to seek God from a heart posture of faith and not despair.”

Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying we should not sing or say we are desperate for God. I personally say it sometimes and enjoy the lyrics and tunes of those worship songs. However, all I am saying is that the word ‘desperate’ for us as Christians is totally different from what it is for the world. Just like the awesome song by Cury Asbury ‘Reckless Love’, it doesn’t mean that God is reckless or rash, it just means that His love for us knows no bounds and has no limitation. Hebrews 11:6 tells us “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Passivity in our faith walk is not a virtue to desire. To worship God or develop an intimate relationship with God we must earnestly and desperately seek him consistently in spirit and in truth. ‘desperately’ just emphasizes the degree to which we should seek him. “Then you will call on Me and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear [your voice] and I will listen to you. Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13 (AMP)

Despite the current happenings in the world, we can not respond like the world; our ‘desperate’ should be different. We are not hopeless or frustrated, we are full of hope and faith in Jesus! The world’s ‘desperate’ may cheat and steal or even kill to get wealth but our earnest desire and pursuit is towards obeying God at all cost. We work competently and honestly with the hands and talents God has given us, because it is him who gives us the power to get wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18; Ephesians 4:28). The world’s ‘desperate’ is what makes a lady give away her body cheaply to men in hopes of getting a ring or receiving love and validation, it is what makes ‘her’ settle in an abusive relationship or get into an unequally yoked relationship just so she can get married at all cost. But in the kingdom of God, our ‘desperate’ is towards seeking first the kingdom of God and delighting ourselves in the Lord because that is the only way ALL our needs can be met (Matthew 6:33; Psalm 37:4)

Just like the patriarchs of our faith, we are our own type of ‘desperate people’! We do our own kind of “desperate things”! The Bible’s hall of faith in Hebrews 11 and in short, the entire bible is filled with members of our family tree that got tremendous and miraculous results from their faith (Jabez, Mordecai, Esther, Hannah, Abraham, Sarah, the woman with the issue of blood etc.) We are here as light, salt and an answer to a world that is desperate for a saviour.

As a saved single lady, you are not to live in despair or fear in any area of your life; though I know the struggle can be difficult sometimes. Each time you seem anxious and overwhelmed and you notice the desperation of this world begins to sip into your soul, resist it! Go to the word and constantly renew your mind. Fill your mind up with the word till you have no room for the desperation of this world. Your desire and pursuit should be directed towards the Word not the world. It is in the Word that we daily refine and define our own kind of ‘desperate’! We are not ‘desperate’ in the world’s definition for a relationship or marriage. We are secure and at peace in the Father’s Love because we know that in His own time He would bring us to the spouse He has ordained for us (Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. -Genesis 2:22)

“So, here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” (Romans 12:1-2 MSG)

Lovely one, it’s okay to wet the feet of Jesus with your tears of worship and adoration and wipe it with your hair! It’s okay to pour out your life and love as an alabaster box at His feet! That is what our own kind of ‘desperate’ looks like! It is your deepest form of worship! (Matthew 26:6-8; Luke 7:37-38)

Here is a prayer for you if you feel forlorn, hopeless or you are in a situation of despair:

Dear God, I thank you for the gift of life and your love for us. I thank you for loving us with an everlasting love and drawing us close with your loving kindness. This moment, I commit your daughter to you, you know the specific situation that she is experiencing right now, and I know nothing takes you by surprise because you are Alpha and Omega. I ask that your Spirit ministers comfort and strength to her heart right now and I degree that she is free from any form of depression, forlornness or despair! What ever the situation is, I ask that you intervene speedily and grant her wholeness and peace from the inside out. Thank you, father, because I know you have heard and answered us in Jesus name! (Amen!)


“Desperation is the door that breakthrough walks through. It will open up doors that complacency will keep shut.”
-Pastor Robert Madu


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