Relationship & Singleness,  Spirituality & Purpose

Single But Not “Single” (Part 2)

I believe you were blessed by part one of this post! (

Today, let us begin by checking out what Paul tells us about singleness in 1 Corinthians 7:33-35 (MSG):

“I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.”

There is more purpose to your single season than I may be able to shell out in one blog post but the final and paramount purpose I would like to mention is: It is a time to develop an intimate relationship with God. Press into deeper realms in the secret place! (Psalms 91:1) It is your life line! One reason why some saved singles get so distracted and fall into sexual sins is basically because they ‘lack’ intimacy with God. We were created for fellowship and intimacy with God! God desires that we know him intimately. If you notice, the word “know” which is ‘yāda’ in the Hebrew language is one of the words used in place of “sex” in the Bible. “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death” (Philippians 3:10)

How well do you know the voice of God? How does he speak to you? “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27-ESV) When your ‘Boaz’ comes and you need a confirmation from God that it’s him, how would you discern? In your marriage how would you know when God is speaking if you did not learn to discern his voice while you were single? More importantly, when Jesus returns for us, how would you know it’s time? “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:” (1 Thessalonians 4:16).

Jesus is coming for a bride without spot or wrinkle. “…and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 7:27) I did a little research on the word “holy”, guess what I found out? It stems from an old English word, ‘hālig’, an adjective derived from the word “hāl” which means, “whole” and used to mean “uninjured, sound, healthy, entire, complete”. In Hebrew language “holy” stems from the word ‘Qadosh’ which literally means “to be set apart for a special purpose”. Are you whole? Are you holy? Your singleness is a season of purity: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8) To see God, your eyes and heart must be pure and focused (single). How single, focused and pure are your eyes? How single, focused and pure is your heart?! “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single; thy whole body shall be full of light.” (Matthew 6:22-KJV) “Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.” (Psalms 24:3-4)

Singleness spans far beyond your marital status into eternity. When we all leave this earth, everyone would give account of themselves to God as “single” individuals not with their spouse or in a group.

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” (Romans 14:12) There’s only going to be one marriage in heaven; “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory or the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready.” (Revelation 19:7-ESV) You may be single on paper, but are you single? Regardless of your earthly marital status, singleness of heart would be a paramount requirement for the bride (The church) to partake in the marriage supper of the lamb. I’m saying this because subconsciously, many of us are married to the things of this world! We make an idol of our jobs, career, bank account, Jewries, makeup, wardrobe, shoes, friendships, social media platforms, phones, dream wedding fantasies, houses, cars or even may be, our purpose; because it is very possible to work for God and not walk with God. Have you chosen the part of Martha or Mary? (Luke 10:42) “What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?” (Mark 8:37-MSG)

Remember when the disciples asked Jesus about the signs of His coming in Matthew 24:36-41; “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.” What if the Lord returns during your long-awaited dream wedding, when you are walking down the aisle or saying your vows, would you be ready and prepared to go with him? Yes, we have been put on earth to dominate, be fruitful, multiply and tend it but we should not be so focused on earth that we forget that abundant life stretches far beyond planet earth into eternity.

To be single, you first have to become a daughter of Zion. Are you a daughter of Zion? If you are not, do not be dismayed! Jesus Loves you! Acknowledge your sins today and invite Jesus to come into your heart. He longs to make you truly single! Secondly, you have to daily work at it by seeking greater depth of intimacy with God. (Luke 9:23, Philippians 2:12-13, Philippians 3:10). In Christ, we become set-apart, chosen, whole, holy, unique and focused. In Christ we are truly single! As a daughter of Zion, regardless of your marital status, singleness should always be a goal!

Are you single but not ‘single’? The answer is up to you and me!

I just noticed that there are more than a dozen questions in this post series! LOL…… I believe the Holy Spirit is calling us to a place of genuine singleness and a moment of reflection! Take time to answer all the questions during your quiet or spare time. You may even want to journal your responses, so you can intentionally pray about them and make amends where necessary! You’ll be glad you did! Thanks for reading. I love you! Stay firm in the Father’s love!



  • Donna Stearns

    I am a happily married single-minded person with two loves, my God first and then my husband. And of course I love my family but this and my love for my husband are each born out of God’s love He has poured into me. He is what enables me to love Him first and others as I should.
    Thank you for choosing to follow my blog. My delay in acknowledging your follow was due to the love of my family during the Christmas holidays. So, now they are all gone home and I thank you for your follow and hope it brings you and your sisters all love and encouragement throughout the year.

    • Peace Ochanya Ojiyi

      Peace Ochanya Ojiyi

      Wow! This is so inspiring! I admire your heart for God and your family. My sisters and I definitely have so much to learn from you! Thank you for following our blog, it’s an honor! We appreciate and Love you!💞

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